You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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