Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
