Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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