I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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