1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
