i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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