May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize