tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
