The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
