Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
