Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
