i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
COCAINE IS GR8
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
