he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
