who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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