How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
