i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
