All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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