after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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