We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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