Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize