Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
