North Korea, Best Korea!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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