would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
