I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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