Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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