she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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