ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
