Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize