Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
