It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
