ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
