Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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