he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
