Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
