my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
