So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
