Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
