Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
