I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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