i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
