It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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