he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
