he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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