Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
