what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
