haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
