Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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