Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have feelings that need drinking.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
