Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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