Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
