She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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