fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I lost the right to judge tonight
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
