I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
