I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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