After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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