ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
