Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
