i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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