i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
